There’s a lot of buzz and controversy on the Internet lately about what your yoga practice should look like, how you are allowed to feel about it, and if you are or are not allowed to talk about it, or document it.
There’s all this talk about ego death, and lots of heat and criticism towards anyone who takes pictures in a yoga pose or records their practice. And I get it! I understand that Yoga is so much more than the Asana.
A little over 6 years ago, before The Leadership Studio had a physical location of their own, an email came across my desk that said there would be free yoga at Boys & Girls Club of Atlantic City.
As social media manager of thisisAC at the time, it was my job to spread the word, be an ambassador, and create content. So I went.
I have never experienced this type of community before; I had never been someplace where I was allowed to be myself however I showed up. No matter what my practice looked like, it was OK.
As a high achievement perfectionist and at this point a single mom business owner, this was the first opportunity I had had to just BE.
But my demons were still very present, ready to self sabotage at any moment, any reason not to show up for myself. 
❕Now, you may think that taking pictures of yourself is very superficial. But as a model, it’s so much more to me. Seeing photos of myself is away for me to be more objective. In a world where everybody’s afraid to give somebody a complement, this was a way for me to show love to myself, see my own power, not just that I held a pose, but that I showed up for myself, and I did it.
And it’s the motivation to do it again and again and again, even on the hard days, even when I feel like crap, even when my body looks and feels different than it used to.
If we are newer friends, you may not know that I battled severe body dysmorphia, disordered eating, self harm, etc.
It was an important part of my healing journey to see myself through a different lens - even if just via iPhone.
I’ve been so scared to open my camera out of fear of judgment from others, and that’s not what I like to feel when I’m in a yoga studio. From now on, I am no longer allowing that fear in.
It’s been YEARS since I allowed myself to capture me in my rawest form, asking and allowing my body to go to its edge, quiet the racing thoughts, move how it needs to.
Halfway through yesterday’s practice I literally thought, “God I wish I was recording this” so in the middle of the week when I’m battling my intrusive thoughts, I can watch this video and remind myself that I can do hard things and I have everything I need right inside of me.
All of this to say, next time you find yourself judging somebody for whipping their camera out during their practice, gently release it. It’s not for you to understand if you don’t understand it.
And if you see somebody posting a photo of themselves in a yoga pose, maybe it’s because they are proud of themselves. And that’s it. That’s OK.
